April Fools’ Day talks a big game, but nothing happens. Not one time has this day come and gone, and there was something which fooled me. I do not know any pranksters, but this day is all talk and no walk. Never once has a friend or family member started off a sentence with, “Oh, you know who got me good on April Fools’ Day…” Every year, this day comes and goes, and everyone forgets about it until next year’s April 1.

This makes for a day not worth celebrating. If someone were to prank me, hard pass. Not even fellow Iowan, Ashton Kutcher, could make me fall in love with the prank game. No day needs to be dedicated to fooling someone. These people looking to fool can spend this day in their home fooling themselves for thinking April Fools’ Day is cool.

The United States Senate voted to establish year-round Daylight Savings Time, and while April Fools’ Day is not an official holiday, they can do away with this day altogether. In fact, wipe April 1 off the calendar and go straight to April 2. Then the prankers will be the only ones fooled. The only problem is this holiday is celebrated throughout the world which means this will be a long fight to get rid of this pranking day.

If America wants to keep April 1, then why not bump up May Day to become April Day? May Day is a celebration of spring, and it makes perfect sense to move it to the beginning of the first full month of spring. When April 1 rolls around, typically winter weather is in the rearview mirror. Those big snowstorms where snow sticks to the ground for days are done for the year.

On April 1, the grass is greener, the birds are chirping, and everyone’s mood is feeling better. Unfortunately, as of now, we celebrate this day by fooling each other. Not worth it. April Fools’ Day is a fool’s errand. Time to send this day packing.